


Tears

by Petalishelf



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, yehyuk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22265767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petalishelf/pseuds/Petalishelf
Summary: For all the time Jongwoon was there for Hyukjae, He wanted to be there for the Older one's rare vulnerable moment. to take care of the man he loves but can't admit how much he loves....Not yet anyway.
Relationships: Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Lee Hyukjae | Eunhyuk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Tears

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Except for the story nothing belong to me.

Hyukjae was dreaming after so long. In his dream he was walking on the beach bare feet with shoes in this hand. He sat down looking at ocean when he felt someone hug him from behind and kiss his cheek and before he could turn to look at the person he heard a sound similar to his phone ringtone. He tried to ignore but he couldn’t so instead he woke up and patted on the other side of the bed and found his phone. He saw the caller id read “Aesongi” which means it was from Jongwoon hyung. He smiled and picked up the phone and started heu heuing but soon stopped when he didn’t hear the usual response from the other side. Suddenly hyukie was fully awake as he felt that something was wrong and waited for 5 minutes before asking Jongwoon. 

“Hello? Hyung are you there?” he asked and all he got in response was a feeble hum of hyung’s voice. 

“Are you ok?” hyukjae asked but this time he didn’t get a reply. He checked his phone and saw he was still connected on the phone with hyung. In his whole life knowing hyung he never had to experience something like this: a silent call from Jongwoon hyung and that made him feel uneasy.

“Are you home?” he asked this time got a reply and it was again a throaty hum. He then searched for his Notebook while he started asking questions to his hyung. He asked if hyung ate anything but he didn’t get any reply. He tried to remember if he saw hyung eat anything in the morning when they saw each other but he couldn’t remember it. Nowadays most of their friends and family kept an eye on Jongwoon hyung to know if he is eating or not. He hated when hyung used to do heavy dieting as he was concerned more about his body then his own health. Hyukjae hated that a lot and try to stop Jongwoon as much as he can. 

“Do you have any schedule tomorrow” he kept questioning Jongwoon, hoping to get some response from him and for the first time in the last 5 mins he talked.

“I don’t” Jongwoon said in a low rough voice.

“Are you ok?” Hyukjae asked again.

“Yes” Jongwoon cleared his throat and sniffed before continuing. 

“Just a bad cold” his hyung said on the phone.

From the roughness in voice and sniff from the other side, hyukjae could tell that he has been crying. Even if he knew that hyung was lying to him for some reason but didn’t call him out on it. Suddenly there was a silent on both sides of the phone. Hyukjae looked back at his Notebook and saw that he has finally got a reply from Sungmin Hyung, the Manager. He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and walked towards his fridge to get water before sitting down and looking for another reply from Sungmin hyung. Hyukjae started to hate the silence So he tried to remove it, he started telling all the dumb D&E stories excepting a laughter from Jongwoon hyung. If it was a normal situation he would get hyung's unique laughter but not getting one just confirmed his theory that Jongwoon hyung was not ok. He suddenly got a message from Sungmin hyung that he is in the car downstairs waiting for him. So he got downstairs quickly in his nightwear while still talking to a silent listener. When he entered the car Sungmin Hyung didn’t ask about this sudden trip. That's why he liked the hyung as he wasn’t too curious or nosy and would give him space that he needed, Sungmin hyung then started driving the car towards their destination that was Jongwoon hyung’s home.

When he entered Jongwoon hyung’s home using the password that he got after pestering Wookie at the middle of the night and got a lot of death threats. Hyukjae switched on the light switch and disconnected the phone. When he walked in he saw that house was messy like a storm has raged on inside the house. There were dirty dishes still in the sink and two empty soju bottles on the table. He moved towards the bedroom and switch one the small lights so that it won’t wake up hyung. He noticed one soju bottle on the side table and another one in bed laying on the other side of hyung. Jongwoon hyung likes to drink sometimes but he isn’t a drinker like Hee hyung or Kyu. He stood near Jongwoon hyung and looked at his face. During their one sided conversation hyung had fallen asleep with the phone clutching on his heart and tear tracks on his face. His lips were red too, like he was biting them for some reason.he was still wearing good outdoor clothes in which he would never sleep in. Jongwoon didn’t look peaceful even in his sleep like he was having a bad dream or something and it was breaking Hyukjae’s heart. He wished he knew what to do to make the situation better.Suddenly he remembered a memory from a long time ago.

It was during his and Donghae's trainee days and he was having a hard time and was nearly about to give up. He remembered being tired, both mentally and physically and he was just crying his eyes out as silently as he could while biting his lips to silence the sound. He thought hae was sleeping as hae was a deep sleeper and they had a busy day. Suddenly the door open and he looked towards the door and saw Jongwoon hyung face peeking out of the door. He quickly hid his face and tried to wipe the evidence of his crying session. Hyung came closer to his bed and stroked his hair. He then told him to come out in the living room and went out to give privacy to him. When he came out Jongwoon was waiting for him in the living room sitting on sofa. He didn’t look at his hyung’s direction.

“Hyukie, Sit here” Jongwoon hyung said while patting place next to him on the sofa. He sat down still not looking at the person next to him with his hands fidgeting nervously. So Jongwoon holds Hyukie’s chin and rise it a bit so that he can clearly see his face. Hyukjae was looking down so Jongwoon asked to look at him. He stares at hyukjae’s red eyes that contained so many emotions that he was trying to bottle him. Suddenly a tear fell from his eyes and hyukie started bawling his eyes out and Jongwoon hugged him tightly not caring about his shirt which he was wearing as he was supposed to go outside. Hyukjae cried for some time before his voice turned into a whimper. He had his head rested on Ye’s shoulder and was breathing heavily.

“So… what happened?” Ye asked Hyukjae who is sitting in front of him a bit more relaxed than. before. It was a good thing that only he, hyukie and hae were home so there was not much attention to this situation they are having as he knows that hyukie don’t want others to know about it. Hyukie was drawing doodles on his hand nervously so held one hand.

“Today the trainer……”Hyukjae started. Jongwoon knew who he might be talking about now he understood why hyukie’s mood is bad. The said trainer’s has always been harsh with his criticism and coz of him most trainee’s lose their confidence. He likes when someone gives criticism about individual as long as it doesn’t break a person's morals .

“What did he do now” Jongwoon asked Hyukjae. Hyukjae took a min before answering the question. 

“I missed a bit during dance practice. I mean my body started to be so tired after continuous practice and lack of sleep the last few days. And he started scolding me in front of everyone. And all of them had a pity face for me and I hated it more than anything. I mean I know i'm not a good dancer like Yunho hyung or Rap like that trainee kid that likes to brag about his connection in industry or Amazing singer like you or Kyuhyun. I’m not even sure what I'm doing here. Maybe im just wasting mine and company’s time”. He stood up to leave but Jongwoon pulled him down again.

“You are not a bad dancer. And don’t ever say you are a bad rapper, I have heard you rap so amazingly with such speed, you can do freestyle raping on the stop so I disagree on that too. And yeah, maybe you are not a good vocalist but you are not a bad one either, you just need to practice and from now on I’m going to work on your vocals if that makes you happy ok? ” Jongwoon tries to console a depressed version of a hyperactive kid that he happens to adore. 

He knew that in the state hyukjae is in, he isn’t going to listen so he stood up and hyukjae followed Jongwoon with his eyes and he stood in front of room hyukie shared with Donghae and tapped on the door.

“You can come out now” Jongwoon said to a closed door and walked towards the kitchen.

Behind him the bedroom door opened and sheepishly looking Donghae came out and sat next to him where Hyung was sitting before.

“Sorry, I hated how the trainer was talking to you and how you were crying. I didn;t know what to do so I messaged hyung. I mean he might know how to handle this situation as he was once a trainee too and also he has Jongjin.” Hae as soon as he sat down, he looked guilty. Of course it made sense how Jongwoon hyung suddenly appeared in his room. And Hyukjae also knew that Hae did it to make him feel better who instead of getting angry he hugged hae and thanked him.

Soon Jongwoon came back from the kitchen with three mugs. Hyukjae saw that Mug had hot chocolate in it. Donghae moved a bit so that Jongwoon hyung can sit between them. He switched on tv and put his leg on the table. In normal circumstances this would never happen as hyukie, hae and kyu always get scolding from Jongwoon hyung and Wookie for putting their legs on the table. Soon they all finished their hot chocolate and the other two followed by raising their feet off the ground and Jongwoon put a movie channel to watch while all three cuddled up on the sofa. In the middle of the movie he noticed that two arms were wrapping him from both sides as both younger boy fell into a deep sleep wrapping their arms around his waist and not long after that, he dozed off too while the movie was half way through. Donghae woke up first and realised where he had fallen asleep. He slid his hands off very slowly so as to not wake the two sleeping guys near him and got up to look at the sight in front of him: Hyukjae had his arms wrapped around Jongwoon hyung’s waist and Jongwoon had his hand hung over Hyukie’s shoulder, his head resting on hyukjae’s while his head was pillowed in hyung’s chest. He couldn’t help the smile on his face looking at the both of them like this, neither could he resist taking picture of this cute moment. When hyukie saw the picture later that day, he blushed bright red and had to keep swatting a very cruel Donghae who had taken up to tease him to no end the whole day.

Hyukjae was jerked back to reality when Jongwoon hyung rolled around in his sleep, the alcohol bottle that was on the bed getting stuck under hyung's sleeping body. Hyukjae with a heavy sigh removed the empty bottle from underneath hyung and placed it on the side table. He then removed Jongwoon hyung’s shoes and socks and put it in the corner. Making sure not to wake the hyung up, he gently lifted a passed out hyung and remove the loose white shirt that he was wearing leaving the pants on. Suddenly his eyes went to all the pics that Jongwoon hyung has kept in this room. He could see all pictures clearly even in the dim light. He smiled at the picture of him, Siwon and Donghae, where they were all making faces. And there was one picture with heechul hyung where Jongwoon hyung was kissing his cheek. In one of the pictures Donghae had his head on hyung’s shoulder. One Pic had Hyung hugging their Manager, Teukie hyung. His eyes stopped on two pics that are kept near each other one with him and hyung in which they were talking about something funny and both of their faces was a bit close and they had smiles on their faces and another with hyung and Siwon in which their cheeks are touching and hyung had arm around Siwon’s shoulder from behind it looked like Jongwoon is embracing siwon. He still remembers the time when he first met Siwon during their training. Siwon was the new rich good looking guy that most boys felt Jealous off even him. He started hating a guy he just met just because he was good looking and rich and just happens to be good friends with Heechul Hyung and Jongwoon Hyung and even Donghae liked him.

Looking at these pictures brought back another old memory , the memory reminded him of the time when a eighteen years old hyukjae hated one Choi Siwon’s gut and nearly every one except for his dumb bff, Hyungs and his enemy knew this fact. He still doesn't know what so great about the guy was that everyone liked him. Right now he was trying to find an escape as he sees Siwon walked towards him. Unfortunately luck isn’t on his side as siwon stands in front of him with his trademark smile that he finds annoying nowadays. 

“Hyukjae-ssi, I wanted to talk to you about something. Jongwoon hyung said you might be here”Siwon told him. At that moment he seriously wanted to find Jongwoon hyung and annoy the hell out of him for doing this but first he had to endure this. Siwon continued when Hyukjae didn’t reply to him.

“So it’s my sister’s birthday and I wanted to call my friends too. So I wanted to invite you. Heechul hyung, Leeteuk Hyung, Jongwoon Hyung, Kangin Hyung,Yunho hyung and Donghae will be there too. I hope you will come too and this is the address” He handed a paper with an address on it in my hand before going away. He was about to throw away the paper when a voice stopped him.

“Don’t act Kiddish hyukie, it’s starting to get annoying” said his best friend from behind him. Donghae took paper from his hand and put it in his jeans pocket, dragging hyukie while talking.

“You should stop being jealous of Wonnie, he is a great guy” Hyukhae hated the way Jongwoon and Donghae call Siwon "Wonnie" like they have known the guy all their lives. Even Teukie hyung treat him like how he treated him and hae. Even Heechul hyung the person who is busiest more than Jongwoon hyung makes him to hang out with him. At this point, he wasn’t sure what exactly about Siwon he hated the most. 

“You are going to that party and you are going to enjoy it. Got it?” Donghae said in a threatening voice and a glare which the next second morphed into his signature sweet smile as he hooked his arms around his shoulder and dragged him to a party he wasn’t thrilled on attending.

When the memory lane led him back to this exact moment, where he stood in Jongwoon hyung’s room staring at the pictures, he could clearly see what made him hate Siwon so much. It took him years to come to terms with his own feelings. The guy rolling in his bed behind him, an unknown thing hurting him, the hurt that Hyukjae had no way of soothing this moment was the reason for all of it. He can’t remember the exact moment when he fell in love with his hyung. A smile, a hug, the lazy good mornings, the way his eyes always found his hyung in the sea of heads, the tired nights huddled in the living room together, the pang of jealousy he felt when his hyung hugged someone else who wasn't him. Everyone noticed it and said just how much irrevocably he was in love with his hyung. 

With a half smile that he always had whenever he looked at his hyung when he knew he wasn’t looking, he moved closer to the bed and with very little movement laid next to his hyung, facing him. Jongwoon looked at peace while he slept. Hyukjae wished he could keep his hyung like this, but he can only watch him from afar, as he still couldn’t work up the courage to confess to him. So, he craved for these stolen moments where he can love his hyung the way he wanted. He traced the line of his face with his fingers lingering inches from his face, so as not to wake his sleeping hyung. 

“I’ll protect you from whatever that is hurting you. I promise'' Hyukjae whispered and then kissed his forehead and whispered a barely audible “I Love You” resting his forehead on Jongwoon’s. He didn’t know how long he laid there in silence staring at his hyung’s face, wishing there will come a day where he gets to have all those moments he craves to have that very moment, eventually dozed off into a deep slumber beside his hyung. 

Jongwoon pried open his eyes to see if Hyukjae is asleep or not. He sensed Hyukjae when he entered the room as he is a light sleeper, but he didn’t want to open his eyes as he didn’t know how to face Hyukjae with a tear smeared face. So he decided to pretend to be asleep, for which he was highly grateful because, if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have gotten the confession he was dying to hear from Hyukjae for a very long time now. At first, it was to escape Hyukjae’s hurtful eyes looking at him hurting, but that just quickly escalated to curiosity as Hyukie moved to look at the pictures. He lay very still, not to scare away Hyukie, but even with closed eyes, he could feel hyukie’s eyes on him, just like how he always felt his eyes in an arena full of eyes watching him. He didn’t know how he knew, but he can always tell when Hyukjae is watching from afar. Afterall, Hyukjae is not the one for subtly. Jongwoon knew Hyukjae felt about him the same way he felt about him, but he didn’t want to confess first and ruin what they already had, just in case he read the signs wrong. 

It took the last drop of will power he had to stay still, keeping his eyes closed as the other side of the bed dipped and he felt Hyukjae laid next to him, moving in closer just a little bit. When hyukie’s fingers traced the line of his face, he wanted to throw his arms around him and hug him tight, but he stayed still and wanted to see where this went. His breath hitched silently when a tender kiss landed on his forehead and his entire body froze when the whispered “I Love You” hit something deep inside him with a heavy blow. He knew, he should have opened his eyes then, to tell Hyukjae that he loved him too, but by the time he recovered from the tsunami of feelings he felt inside, Hyukjae was already sound asleep. He stared at his Hyukjae for a while with the widest smile he ever had. He forgot why he was hurting or what made him cry. All he knew that moment was, if he get to have this with Hyukjae, he know he can face the world. There are a lot of things that he wanted to tell Hyukjae and he wanted to say all that starting with a kiss and he will do all that tomorrow. For tonight, this is enough, Hyukjae lying huddled up to his side, his sweet confession and even sweeter kiss. 

“Tomorrow” he said to himself, pulling him closer into a cuddle. 

“Starting tomorrow, I will give you the whole world Lee Hyukjae”.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Ishu for beta reading it for me and enduring my talks about yehyuk. Also this is a part of the Multichapter fic that I'm working on. there is a reason why Sungmin and Leeteuk are Manager that you will understand when I post the Main story.


End file.
